Behind the Anime!
by Eodaiya
Summary: Welcome to this edition of Behind the Anime! Featureing interviews from the actorsactresses of Fullmetal Alchemist!


**Warning-I do not own any of the anime mentioned in this fanfiction. I do not own Behind the Music either. I also don't own Carson Daily. I would also like to point out that this is the first entire fanfiction to be shot in slow motion! Yay! And the whole thing is bold. All of it. This, not **this.** So get used to it. I don't own any anime companies, either. (FUNimation, ADV...) Or adult swim or Mr. T, or Garnier or Geico.**

**Hello. Welcome to Behind the Anime. I am your host, Carson Daily. This is where we find out what anime characters do behind the scenes. _Special unedited version! _Warning- As with most celeberty interviews, you're gonna find out more than you wanted to know. So if spoilers tend to rain on your ignorant parade, watch for this sign -&&, and skip ahead to this sign-&. So welcome to Behind the Anime, a world filled with typos and plot holes. Enjoy.**

**Fullmetal Alchemist**

**Carson-So, Ed. Is it true that you are an alchemist?**

**Ed-Yeah.**

**Carson- Did FUNimation stage any of the events that we see in the series _Fullmetal Alchemist_?**

**Ed- No, not really. Mostly people followed us with cameras taping whatever we did.**

**Carson- That sounds annoying.**

**Ed-Yeah, it is. **

**Carson- Well, I think all of the fans out there really want to know something. Why the hell are you so short?**

**Ed- Actually, the directors gave me pills to keep me at 5' 2'' throughout the whole anime series.**

**Carson- Did you want to stay short?**

**Ed- Hell no.**

**Carson- Isn't that illegal?**

**Ed- I think so.**

**Carson- So why didn't you quit?**

**Ed- I could quit...?**

**Carson- Did you even read that contract of yours?**

**Ed- They told me it was an autograph for a fangirl!**

**Carson- And they never told you that you could quit?**

**Ed- No.**

**Carson- Do you like the film crew, Ed?**

**Ed- No! When we weren't filming, they kept me locked in a closet. And y'know the automail? It's not even real automail. It's recycled tin cans! My arm is always getting caught in can openers!**

**Carson- We're going to have to edit that out. Speaking of that, is it true that you lost your arm and leg in an elephant stampede?**

**Ed- No. No I didn't. I lost my limbs when my brother and I tried to bring our mom back from the dead and it went wrong...**

**Carson- Yeah, yeah. Is it also true that you had a whirlwind relationship with Azumanga Daioh's Yukari Tanizaki?**

**Ed- No. She was my teacher when I was on tour in Japan.**

**Carson- So you did go to Japan?**

**Ed- You're not making any sense!**

**Carson- Do you have a driver's liscence?**

**Ed- No. I failed my test 57 times.**

**Carson- But you do know how to drive?**

**Ed- Yeah, Yukari taught me how on the tour bus.**

**Carson- That explains a lot. And is it true that the bus crashed into a movie theatre in Okinawa?**

**Ed- They said I had the right to remain silent.**

**Carson- Okay! Thank you for coming, Ed.**

**Ed- I can't remember where I am.**

**Carson- Al, is it true that you do not have a body?**

**Al- Yes.**

**Carson- Is it also true that you lost your body in a failed resurrection?**

**Al- No.**

**Carson- Then what really happened?**

**Al- We were about to try the transmutation. The directiors said that they were gonna stop us for a few minutes to make sure that everything went okay.**

**Carson- Uh-huh...**

**Al- Well, nothing was going wrong. That is, the transmutation was actually working. But the cable directors thought that it would be boring if nothing went wrong.**

**Carson- And it would!**

**Al- So they dropped a piano on me.**

**Carson- Ouch. What about the film of the failed transmutation?**

**Al- That's all computer edited.**

**Carson- So why don't you quit?**

**Al- They said that if I quit they'd kill my cat.**

**Carson- Yeah, yeah. Is it also true that you had a whirlwind relationship with Azumanga Daioh's Yukari Tanizaki?**

**Al- No...I don't even know who that is.**

**Carson- I thought so. So, what's it like working with everyone on the set?**

**Al- That depends. One time InuYasha guest starred.**

**Carson- I've never seen that episode.**

**Al- They never aired it. InuYasha 'accidentaly' killed all the homunculi with his Tetsusaiga. It took them a few months to make more. Ever wonder why adult swim took such a long time between the first and second season?**

**Carson- No I never did. Is it true that Roy Mustang is dating Mr. T?**

**Al- I don't know.**

**Carson- I knew it.**

**Al- What?**

**Carson- Al, is it true that you are magnetic?**

**Al- No...**

**Carson- Damn!**

**Al- Huh?**

**Carson- I had a good idea for a sitcom.**

**Al- Are you with the government?**

**Carson- Are you!**

**Al- I asked you first. Is this some kind of conspiracy...?**

**Carson- He's on to us!**

_**(Carson throws Al out of window)**_

**Carson- Okay. Thanks for your time!**

**Carson- Okay then, folks. Our next guest is Roy Mustang. You may remember him from such commercials as 'Garneir-maximum power for maximum hold hair gel' and 'Geico- Well, I may just have destroyed an entire city with alchemy but I have some good news- I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.'**

**Roy- Hello, Carson.**

**Carson- Roy, it it true that you are dating Mr.T?**

**Roy- That never worked out.**

**Carson- I thought so. Now, what's it really like working with the cast of _Fullmetal Alchemist_?**

**Roy- Well, for some shootings, we had to wake up at 4 AM. But Ed was usually awake the earliest because he had to do the most takes.**

**Carson- I thought that Ed said that nothing was staged.**

**Roy- Well, sometimes Ed wouldn't cooperate with the directors. They'd end up with a hundred takes of nothing. So they'd follow him around with cameras until he did something interesting, then make him do it a million times more.**

**Carson- Yeah...**

**Roy- There was this one time that Ed, Al, Riza, Maes and I were driving around in a tour bus. Ed was driving even though he didn't have a liscence. Eventually he drove into a movie theatre and ended up making 4 million dollars collateral damage.**

**Carson- How did he pay all that off?**

**Roy- I think he transmutated gold.**

**Carson- We're going to have to edit that. So, you hijacked a tour bus?**

**Roy- I wouldn't call it 'hijacking'. Plus, it was all Ed's fault.**

**Carson- Yeah, yeah. Is it also true that you had a whirlwind relationship with Azumanga Daioh's Yukari Tanizaki?**

**Roy- I'm not on trial here.**

**Carson- Me, too. Now, Roy. Did you have fun shooting _FMA_?**

**Roy- && SpOiLeR AlErT-Well, I lost an eye, my best friend died, the fuhrer was actually a homunculi in disguise...&**

**Carson- I see, I see. So did you enjoy the tour in Japan?**

**Roy- You are not making any sense.**

**Carson- Mr.Mustang, are you aware that you only have one eye?**

**Roy- (sarcastically)No I am not.**

**Carson- Okay, then. Thak you for your time.**

**Roy- You're not nice!**

**Carson- So I hear. Our next guess is Alex Louis Armstrong, some guy on _FMA_! Welcome to Behind the Anime!**

**Alex- Thank you, Carson! You see, interviewing has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!**

**Carson- Times like these make me wonder why I quit _Behind the Music._**

**Alex- Allow me to show you the alchemic power that has been passed down the Armstrong line for generations!**

**Carson- No thanks.**

**Alex- Aww...c'mon!**

**Carson- No!**

_**(Carson pushes 'eject' button and ejects Alex out window. Alex falls on Al.)**_

**Carson- Well, okay then. That was possibly the weirdest interview yet. And we haven't even gotten to Azumanga Daioh. Our nest guest is Winry Rockbell! The auto-mail mechanic who thinks she's better than you!**

**Winry- Hello, Carson.**

**Carson- Winry, is it true that you like to talk with clams?**

**Winry- No...**

**Carson- I can totally relate.**

**Winry- I like to take things apart!**

**Carson- SHUT UP! NOBODY ASKED YOU!**

**Winry- You're mean!**

**Carson- And you're dumb.**

**Winry- You don't even know me! I'm not dumb!**

**Carson- And the paparazzi won't leave you alone, huh? Hmm...**

**Winry- ...**

**Carson- Gee, Winry, you're so much more intresting when you're not talking.**

**Winry- I want my money and then I'm leaving!**

**Carson- _Finally!_ Here! Take it and go! (hands Winry $13.57)**

**Winry- Thank-you! (Winry storms away) Okay, dudes! Thank you for watching _Fullmetal Alchemist-Behind the Anime! _Stay tuned for _InuYasha!_ And if your mind still works, _Azumanga Daioh!_ I will not say 'Thanks for your support and goodnite' to a camera!**

**A/N: Yeah, Carson's a little stoned. o.o **


End file.
